a trainwreck with me and andy and chris and madge eating yeast

the one month anniversaire of le eat le yeast - plus some hater comment about me being a ragan knockoff. but i am a GUY and ragan is a GIRL...so wtf??

here's my bday show with madge padge


Last night, sweet Christopher and I were calmly reflecting on the goodness and wonderfulness of my super-mellow perfect birthday.
Quite suddenly, Christopher began experiencing serious issues with his heartbeat, as well as lightheadedness and some other symptoms.
Before long, (around 12:15 a.m.,) we found ourselves in an ambulance rushing to the hospital, where we now remain.

Christopher is experiencing something called atrial fibrillation - basically the right atrium and left atrium are fluttering instead exhibiting a nice consistent beat. What can happen sometimes in this situation is that because the heart isn't squeezing nicely on each beat, a blood clot can form, and then when the heart does return to a nice healthy beat, that (potential, hypothetical, and currently non-existent) clot can travel into the brain, causing a stroke, or into other places in the body, essentially wreaking havoc in whatever organ it could land in.

Chris. Super-uber-healthy, reiki-practicing, non-smoking, organic food-eating, kind, generous, 41-year-old Chris, is in danger of having a stroke.

There is lots of good news:
1) because we got to the hospital so quickly after the onset, there was no permanent damage sustained by the heart.
2) if any clot were to form, this is where you would wanna be when it did happen. so far, no sign of anything like that.
3) despite all of this, Chris is in great spirits and is feeling much better physically than last night; he has color in his cheeks again, and is even laughing at my stupid jokes.
4) back to the good brisk timing...there is a 48 hour window within which you can perform a defibrillation and essentially "reset" the heartbeat.

So, as things stand now, Christopher is on intravenous and oral medications. They are basically in two categories: one category is to help regulate his heartbeat and return it to normal, and the other is to thin his blood, so that when it does return to normal, (which it totally will,) a clot will be exceedingly unlikely.

He is scheduled for defibrillation at 2:00 p.m. tomorrow. If this needs to happen, it'll be great, and exactly as things should be, and certainly will be just the "reset button" he needs.

BUT...here's where I could really use your help on the good vibe action...if his heartbeat returns to normal BEFORE 2:00 p.m. tomorrow, THEN...no harm, no foul, NO defibrillation necessary.

Just me, getting sweet Christopher home, and tucking him into his own bed, without a bunch of wires coming out of him.

This grows ever more important, as I refuse to get my big ass out of his tiny bed here in the hospital, insisting to all the nurses and doctors that I am not actually "his girlfriend," or "a guest," but "an inoperable growth" of his (...that talks and has hair and sneaks him contraband snacks from Real Food Daily.) This is growing more awkward with each passing moment and may soon result in my own admittance to the mental ward.

As most of you know, (it's hard not to notice this,) Chris is a healer of the highest order. There is nothing he loves more than sharing his reiki goodness with the world...even getting three of my friends on the table last night during the birthday festivities!

So I am thinking...
...if we all boomerang some of the high-octane love back at Mr. Beale in whatever way makes the most sense inside you:
send him some of that reiki goodness,
or pray some prayers,
or practice some meditations,
or cast a wiccan good-witch spell,
or even shout a "yeehaw!" at the big fat moon,
or let loose in the form of some "clap if you believe in fairies" applause,
or crank a Smiths song (a happy one, y'all, like, "is it really so strange?" or "sheila, take a bow" or something,)
or just imagine how cute he looked last night in his rainbow pinstripe jeans with a beer in one hand and a tibetan singing bowl in the other,
or shoot, whatever works for you...

...I am thinking...
...we could,
just with our love,
help gently nudge his big beautiful sweet heart back to its natural state of well-being and perfect knowing of its own rhythm,
obliterating the need for a violent jolt back to a steady beat.

Of course, if what is needed is a violent jolt, then that will be perfect.

But even if that does end up being the case, all those good vibes can only make everything that much better.

So that's about the shape of things...I am so grateful for the singular and unique blessing each of you are.

yeasty

ey 2 aka yr 860

i can't fucking take anymore.

how fly is that pin the tail on the donkey with a halo of tails, though?

holler!

how lame can one person be? i am so lame!

i'm such an interwab tard i can not figure out how to put photos in the body of this damn shit i suck god damn it

that's me backstage at disney concert hall during the show last sunday. i attached an audio file of the piece i performed. most of you fuckers have prolly already heard it.

it's me performing with daKAH hip hop orchestra, led by the brilliant GG. Fanny Franklin is singing. the song is written by parliament. the string section under my poem is composed by GG himself.

those adorable men i am with are DJ JEDI and DJ LYNK - my two co-lab:ORATION djs. they're also djs for daKAH, so it was like a crazy juicy lovefest for all of us backstage and i took that picture on my celly for you.

listen...i love you guys SOOOOO much i just can not fucking express it. i think doing this podcast with madge is gonna help me heal and get to a place where i can just record podcasts by myself again. i am feeling better and stronger every day.

except for the fact that - i swear to christ, no joke - i had a MASSIVE fucking car accident yesterday, which, believe it or not, wasn't my fault!

i am fine, and the girl driving the other car is fine. i mean i am banged up pretty good, and the seatbelt almost amputated my right boob, but still...it was bad. my car is totaled. there was gasoline pouring out. so really...i feel lucky my teeth are not splattered all over wilshire blvd...you know?

life is crazy, and there is so much crazy shit to share just about that, and other shit, that i am feeling like maybe i can podcast soon and not feel so sad.

and why the fuck won't itunes list eat bird? does anyone know? i have requested like 40 times now.

there's lot's more shit to tell.

can you believe how short my hair is?

i love and appreciate you all so much it's fucking unspeakable. chris watches me get all choked up and shit when i talk about you guys or just read your comments.

ex oh ex oh ex oh

that was a picture of christopher passed out while i recorded EY 1 with madge-ina.

here he is, awake.

classic!

eat yeast #1 (aka YR858) is underway... posted at http://yeastradio.com

enjoy the train wreck.

i love you guys soooo much.

shanny...so sorry you are going through it. i send you so much love and light girl...

in kansas???

send me your snail mail addy back channel s'il vous plait.

yoyoyoyoyooooooo. hey y'all...it's time for a revolution. i love you all so much, and i miss you all so much. even you haters. i love you. but i love the lovers more. anyhoo, the point...the POINT is, every time i go to record an eat bird, i get so depressed about estrangement that i wanna go pee and then wipe with sandpaper. or stab a fork in my thigh. or something like that.

so my options? self abuse or avoid podcasting.

FUCK ALL THAT.

welcome to the new plan.

once a week, madge and i will be podcasting together.

eat yeast, y'all.

also, seriously...
come see me at disney concert hall FOR FREE this sunday.
i'm performing at 3:30 p.m. in the SECOND daKAH set. dude. daKAH. 70 piece hip hop orchestra. holler.

love you guys. miss you guys. scared to read comments.

shlomy is back in the muthafuckin' house. and then a mashup i did of saul williams and depeche mode.

hi stupes. PUCK YOU MISS ARE YOU ON YOUR PERIOD? yes i am. that is a photo of me with my collage of fats waller hanging in the one time i had my stuff hanging in a gallery ever. thus far. i actually put some glitter on it and fixed the weird cloud halo thing above his head. it looks stupid here. now it looks like a golden sunflower regal halo. much awesomer.

this shit is lame.

i'm just back, bitches. thass' all. and i worship shanny and gemmers.

hi my loves...just something to tide you over...did a podcast with madge last night if you are interested...it's at yeastradio.com

--will post asap...crazed with mfa (it's great) and moving... swear i will post soon....xo

me and my friend laurie are fustta-ing it up for you.